Thoughts | the end of week three.

today came with the revelation that we've now been here for three weeks. it literally feels like we just got here yesterday, not three freaking weeks ago... it's been three weeks since I cuddled my dog, since I hugged my family, since I wore a parka, since I complained about being cold, and since someone told me to have a great 6 months, because it's now closer to 5 months.
This week was a great one. we had "character and lecture week" (as referenced in my last post), we went to the beach a few times, played some Swiss games, we went to Hillsong church (I KNOW RIGHT), we spent yesterday in Sydney, and we had a grand old adventure losing contact with people and then finding them again!
Let's go through the week. Monday afternoons are community service and evangelism, so we went to the beach (it was also a holiday because it was Australia day) and talked to people there. Tuesday afternoons are bonding time with the separate DTS's, so we played some Swiss games, led by a married couple from Switzerland (my turn is coming up this week, going to dust off some drama games :) ), Friday we went to the beach yet again, and then yesterday Alanna and I went to Sydney for the afternoon to meet up with a friend we graduated with. we spent a few hours walking around Darling Harbour and then went to Hillsong (Life dream fulfilled) for the evening service. it was incredibly cool.
So where our base is here in Australia is a little bit sketchy, especially after dark. so the girls aren't allowed to walk alone after supper, we have to be in groups larger then 3 people and there always has to be a guy in the group. when we were planning to go to Sydney, they told us that we weren't allowed to walk back from the train station after dark (because our train got back at like 10:30 pm) so we had to take guys with us. the two guys that came wanted to spend more time in Sydney then we did, so they came a few hours early. So as they left they came and asked us where we wanted to meet. I ran to ask some staff a few questions pertaining to hillsong and when I came back they had left. so the only thing we had was Alanna asking them to meet at the train station at 5:30. the train stations in the surrounding towns to Sydney are quite small, but the train station in the middle of Sydney is huge. so that really didn't help. at 5:30, we were at the train station, obviously not at the right place because they weren't anywhere. so we moved about 20 metres down the road to the bus stop that hillsong runs a free bus transit service to/from their service locations, and waited till the last bus at 5:45 to get on without them. sent up a few prayers that we'd find them because walking around after dark is still sketchy in Sydney... our friend from high school had a phone so we texted our leaders and arranged to call them when we got to the stop we had to change trains at via a payphone so they could come get us from the train station. our friend left to go back to his school, and then we got on the bus and were talking to some sweet people we met when I looked out the window and saw our two friends! Jesus pulls through even in the small things. they got on and were like "we never thought we'd find you ever" to which we totally agreed. every thing went great after that, both guys fell asleep on the train ride back to base (which was about 2 hours), I got some great pictures of them, and I borrowed a new friend from hillsong's phone to text our leader which was hilarious because it was in dutch or german or some European language and i'm pretty sure I sent a few half finished texts.

so all in all, life is good. we're at base, I now own some super ugly pants that everyone in Australia seems to own, we have a day off to write a paper and go to church in the evening, and I have an excellent beginning of a tan. this place finally feels like home.

Now unto the Lamb, who sits on the throne
be glory and honour and praise
all of creation resounds with the song
worship and praise Him,
the Lord of Lords

In Him, the Lord of Lords,
-Cailey

"Character and Nature week"

Well, we've reached the end of week 3 on DTS and also the end of January. These past few weeks have been crazy, to say the least. We've met loads of new people, experienced things we wouldn't have otherwise in Canada, we've seen a new side of God, and we've started to become a weird little family. We've all seen new things and joined together in the things we haven't experienced before.

This week's lectures were on the Character and Nature of God, aka Character and Nature week for most YWAMers. This week, for me anyway, started off on a pretty negative note. The lecturer we had this week is so incredibly intelligent (like he has a doctorate kind of intelligent) that sometimes I felt like he has trouble dumbing down the thoughts in his head for the rest of the people of normal intelligence. However, on wednesday, things clicked for me.

The main focus for the week was on the Fear of the Lord and how we need to have both the fear of the Lord and intimacy with Him to have a solid relationship. Going a little more in depth, he asked us if we thought that we were created in the image of God's nature or God's character. Nature being the things about God that cannot change, such as His power and His wisdom, and Character being the things that can change, like His love and His goodness (more on that later, don't freak out yet). The answer was character, because we can't have the wisdom and power of God. His illustration of that was asking one of us to float upside down with your foot on the ceiling for 5 minutes, and us saying we couldn't do that. Which makes sense. So then, someone asked if God's love was part of His character or His nature, and this is when the discussion started. We as humans want to think God's love is part of His nature, because we want to know that it's always there, etc. Our speaker raised the point that if it's a part of God's nature, that means that He has to love us, which we didn't like either. However, God's love would actually be a part of His character. He chooses to love us every single day. So then of course, we asked why. Why would God choose to love us and choose to be good to us? We are such failures, and we can't even comprehend why on earth He would want to love us and would choose to every single day. Somewhere in his wisdom He knows that it's best to love us, but where? That question stumped the lot of us as we left class. And then at lunch, while in discussion with some of the leaders, one mentioned that how she got through that question on her DTS was by realizing that God is a relational God (which we went over last week), so in His infinite wisdom He knows it's best to love us and have a relationship with us. It was a good feeling to realize this. In 2 Corinthians it says “my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” He loves us and wants us even when we fail really hard, and He can still be glorified in our weakness.

So then yesterday, the one idea/thing that I really took out of lecture was this: We need to live in a way that honours the price that has been paid for us. Jesus gave His life for us and we need to live to glorify that ultimate sacrifice.

So then that takes us to now, 2 pm on Friday January 31. It's a good day. We had base intercession this morning where the Holy Spirit moved like crazy, and in half an hour we leave for the beach.

I am blessed.

I am blessed.

I am blessed.

Our speaker challenged us this week with the idea that blessings actually come from being obedient to the Lord. I really hope i have been, and that's why i am so in love with my Creator.

I hope today that you live to honour the price that was paid for you on the cross.

In Him, our powerful and loving God,

Cailey

The gift of music.

Something cool I've been experiencing lately is the gift of music. For me, music is a way of life. I've been around it since I was young, playing piano and learning the theory behind music. 

Since coming to base, I've realized how much of a gift that actually is. I take for granted that God gave me the gift of music when in truth not everyone has that gift. I got ahold of a ukulele soon after coming to base, and getting to play that and get that constant from home on the other side of the world is a huge blessing. Also, I've been allowed to play a piano on base which has also been really amazing! 

Something else that I've been blessed by is the people who have never heard me sing before. At home, especially at church and in choir at school, I've been playing and singing for so long that it feels like I (and everyone else) take my skills and talent for granted. When I first started playing here, everyone told me how talented I was... And it was really great to be reminded of! I consider myself a very mediocre singer/musician so I was hugely blessed by the encouragement of these people. 

Since I am an extrovert and I come from a family of mostly introverts, my family always wonders where I get my enjoyment of being on stage from. My dad's side of the family is quite musical, but prefers being in the back and not speaking. I quite enjoy performing, and I often jumped at the opportunity to make announcements for my parents at church because I enjoy being on stage and they do not. I wouldn't necessarily say they're introverts, because my parents are some of the friendliest people I've ever met, but they just don't enjoy the stage. 

We eventually figured out I got my stage presence from my paternal grandfather, my dad's dad. I really love this because a lot of my favourite memories of music come from him and my grandmother. Whether singing with them at church, or singing carols at Christmas, or listening to my grandpa's quartet, or singing the same song in my choir as he was in his, my favourite musical memories come from the wielers. 

This song, I recently found in one of my music books. I read the chorus and instantly remembered standing next to my grandpa sharing his hymnal and listening to his deep voice belt out this song. My grandma and I sing the alto line together and play piano together and we just generally have a really great time. 

Music has a way of crossing boundaries. It defies age, gender, class, and religion. People can come together over a song when they wouldn't have through anything else. In choir in high school, my absolute favourite memory is finally mastering the Hallelujah chorus. I can just remember every time I sang it, finishing and just having the biggest smile because of how good it feels to master that song. So many people come together to sing such a beautiful, intricate, complicated song. When we sang it, people who knew it would sing along. When we sang "great is thy faithfulness" for LCS Sunday, people sang right along with us, no matter the age or stage in life. 

So today, appreciate the value that music gives. It triggers memories, crosses boundaries, creates joy, inspires change, and brings people together like nothing else can. Even if you're not musical, enjoy some music today. Maybe play a song that triggers a memory for you for someone you care about. Most of all, never take the gifts God has given you for granted. He has made each individual person so incredibly talented and don't forget that. 

In Him, the joyous mover and festive dancer, 

-Cailey

I stand amazed in the presence 

Of Jesus the Nazarene 

And wonder how He could love me, 

A sinner, condemned, unclean. 

How marvellous! How wonderful! 

And my song shall ever be 

How marvellous! How wonderful! 

Is my Saviour's love for me!

Songs | Cornerstone (Hillsong)

My hope is built on nothing less 

Then Jesus' blood and righteousness

I dare not trust the sweetest frame 

But wholly trust in Jesus' name 

Christ alone, cornerstone

Weak made strong, in the Saviour's love 

Through the storm, He is Lord 

Lord of all 

When darkness seems to hide His face

I rest on His unchanging grace 

In every high and stormy gale 

My anchor holds within the veil 

My anchor holds within the veil 

When He shall come with trumpet sound

Oh may I then in Him be found 

Dressed in His righteousness alone 

Faultless, stand before the throne 

Christ alone, cornerstone 

Weak made strong, in the Saviour's love

Through the storm, He is Lord 

Lord of all

I had the privilege of learning this song at camp this summer and I absolutely love it. It's also the focus of the Bible study we're doing once a week here on base. There are so many good lines that apply to many different stages of life, and they all speak truth. 

Here's a YouTube link to the song if you want to hear it for yourself: 

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QvLxZEU02uI 

So what is a cornerstone? The cornerstone of a building is the one that the whole building leans on. It's the stone that if you were to take it out, the whole building would be compromised. When you're building a house, they first have to dig the supports so deep that they hit rock, and then the cornerstone is put in. 

One thing we talked about this week at Bible study was what we were putting in as the cornerstone in our lives instead of Jesus. There were a lot of different answers, such as money, family, relationships, mental illness, drugs and alcohol, all these different things that we're choosing to lean on instead of Jesus. We're building our lives around these things instead of the best cornerstone of all, Jesus. He's the only one that will never fail you, or compromise your "building". 

My favourite line of this song currently is "when darkness seems to hide His face / I rest on His unchanging grace" 

I really love this line because it reminds you to rest on the unchangingness of our Saviour. Our Saviour never changes. He never goes anywhere, and His love never becomes any less. Something that He's teaching me is that even though there are some areas of my life that I'm not ready to give up control to, He will wait for me forever. He won't go anywhere, He's gonna stand there and knock until I let Him in... Even if it means getting a chair. He won't love me any less then if I do let Him in right away. I'm so lucky to serve Him. 

In other news, it's not very hot in Australia. Haha. Kidding. But it has been raining and really windy for most of the week, so it hasn't been too hot, which is nice because it gives my sunburn a chance to heal up... 😳 yesterday we took the train into Wollongong for the day and went to the botanical gardens for a picnic and then went to the shops in Wollongong, which was so much fun! Picked up some much needed things (and even some things I didn't need but were cute😉) and had a great time bonding with some of the girls. Came back to a birthday party for one of our amazing fearless leaders, and finished up the day having a great time laughing and chatting with one of my excellent fellow YWAM students. All in all, an excellent day. Today is a lot of nothing and then church in Wollongong in the evening! 

Blessings for today! 

What is your cornerstone? 

-Cailey 

A picture from the botanical gardens at the university of Wollongong from yesterday! 

Ongoing Sagas | my stomach

This past summer, I had the privilege of being on staff at a local Bible camp back home. It was my fourth summer working on staff, and every year I looked forward to spending my summer serving God with my fellow staff and loving on the 2000 plus kids that came through our programs. This year, however, was a little bit different. I had a rough time with camp summer of 2012, and I didn't plan to be back in 2013 unless 2 very specific things happened, which was my way of saying "this is how I know God wants me back at camp". So the year progressed, and sure enough both things happened. So I sent in my application and (very late) got offered the job of food aid coordinator. I was excited about this, because I had pretty much only counselled and I felt that that time of my life was mostly over. As the food aid coordinator, my main responsibilities included putting together food for the cook of our secondary site, running night snack every night for the kids at the main site, and pretty much anytime one of the staff needed food outside of the main three meals at the main site, they talked to me.

It was a great job. It kept me mostly busy, but not too busy. I had time to help out the cooks every once in awhile and also had time to spend with Jesus, although that never seemed to happen as much as I wanted. 

So that was the first week. At the end of the first week, they asked me to also take on the responsibility of Dining Hall Coordinator, which meant I was also in charge of the people doing all the dishes. A normal DH crew consists of 5 people and a DHC, but that week there was 3, not including me because 90% of the time I was doing Food Aid stuff and I was only there to direct. This week was really hard, though I was blessed with three really great, hardworking guys that I actually had a great time with. I often left them by themselves to go run things to different places, and they were totally fine. 

Honestly, things went downhill from there. After week 2 and 3, the hardest stretch of my summer started. I was asked to take on canteen, which took many hours because I had to make hundreds of these ridiculous gummy bags every single day, as well I had to put each cabin's order together to feed them and all the staff... I often pulled staff that had free time in to make gummy bags and still didn't have enough. 

As well as doing canteen, I was helping in the kitchen with every spare second I had, and even still people were calling me asking if I could do things for them. I hate saying no because I feel like I'm letting people down, so I always say yes to things... -> downfall number one. 

Doing the work that during a normal summer 3 or 4 people would be doing took its toll... I remember feeling totally exhausted at the end of that week. But unfortunately for me, I wasn't done working. I had agreed to work weekend camp, the one weekend of summer that we run summer camp for all the kids who don't want to stay for a whole week. Weekend camp is always the hardest to staff because everyone likes their weekends and wants them off. I agreed to do it because my cousins were coming and I wanted to see them... But of course, my campers for that weekend were 5 and 6 years old, which is the youngest, and my junior counsellor was fresh from the training program... Literally on Friday she was in training and on Saturday she was a counsellor. She did really really well and for that I'm so thankful, but that still meant I was carrying a lot more responsibility then usual.

Then on Monday, we started camp again. Ridiculous right? That's 12 days of non-stop campers, and for any of you who have ever worked at camp, you know it's a long long time. 

And that's where I started to feel really sick. It had happened like that before, when I had been really tired, but this just didn't stop. I felt constantly nauseous... They had asked me to take on another week of canteen, and I had agreed... But it was too much. I walked out of canteen one day because I was so nauseous, and I spent every morning lying in bed till like 11 before I could convince myself to get up. I moved like I was 90 because I felt so constantly sick, and I stopped eating totally which was a huge mistake. I knew that part of the reason I felt so sick was because I feel nauseous when I'm hungry, but feeling so incredibly sick meant I didn't want to eat. I lost weight and totally stopped eating. I fell asleep sitting up because I would wake up in the middle of the night otherwise, and I was almost constantly on anti-nauseant medicine to hopefully make me feel better. None of it worked, and I spent the weekend in bed at home before returning yet again to camp on Sunday evening. I had come up with a theory that this was the result of acid reflux, and decided to tell the camp that I was on an acid reflux diet. Which meant no fatty food, no butter, no spicy food, no fried food, no especially acidic food, and no artificial sugar. Which left plain chicken and carrots. Every meal. I had also started on an acid reducer pill, and was really hoping that the combination would reduce my sickness and help me feel better. I had yet to lose the contents of my stomach at any point, but lived in constant fear of it. 

Week six passed and I felt slightly better, but Friday was just really bad and I felt so sick the whole day. I ended up walking in a parade the next morning, but ducked out early because I felt really sick yet again. The next day, Sunday, my mom took me to a doctor, who confirmed my thought of acid reflux and prescribed me a much stronger medicine that I started taking later that day in hopes that I would be able yet again to return to camp that evening. I got to camp before realizing that there was no way I could make it through that week feeling the way I was. I had been resisting before because I was the only one who knew how to do my job, but I gave up and told the programming staff that I couldn't do it. They said they could find someone to do it, and told me I could go home Monday evening which was fine with me. I typed out an 8 page summary of my week for my replacement, which turned out to be one of my closest friends at camp, and then spent Monday walking it through with him. Well actually I didn't really move, I more gave him directions and tried not to move. He did really well, and when I still didn't feel up to returning for Sunday night of week 8, he took on my responsibilities for another week, which was awesome. I ended up going back to camp Tuesday morning and working on the kitchen for the rest of that week, which was difficult, for a number or reasons, but I still enjoyed it. 

I went to see a different doctor a few weeks after camp ended, and he ordered a test for h pylori, a stomach bacteria (which I didn't have) before confirming that it was indeed acid reflux. When my symptoms still didn't go totally away, he ordered a barium swallow test from a local hospital where I had to drink multiple different things and they would watch them go down my esophagus. This test though, came back totally healthy. No one had any idea what was going on. I was a total disaster. The next step was to go see a gastrointestinal specialist, which I wouldn't have been able to see until February (which was too late at this point because I had been already accepted to my dts at this point), so we were out of options. I was still on the same medicine, and we had no idea what to do. I stopped the medicine at the beginning of December to see how much of an effect it had on me, and felt the same. 

So I guess that takes me until now. I'm almost 2 weeks into dts, and loving every second. My stomach keeps telling me what it does and doesn't like (example lots of onions and artificial sugar, like pop and candy). I still can't participate in things as fully, such as crazy dance parties, because I can't jump for that long, and doing anything really really active makes me still feel sick. These past few mornings have also been really hard as I've been feeling really sick, so prayer would be highly appreciated. 

However, despite the Enemy's attacks to my immune system, I absolutely love life on dts. Whether it's crazy dance parties, or worship you can belt out, or day trips to super cool islands, or just life here on base, I love it. I trust my new family here a lot and I love connecting with them. 

Today, (since it's almost 8 am on Friday in aus) I challenge you to live life to the fullest. Don't not do things because they make you uncomfortable. Look for God in everything, and love everyone that comes your way. 

Blessings in the best Heavenly Father of all time, 

-Cailey

Thoughts | Mordor

I realize for those of you that know me well, titling my post referencing Lord of the Rings is probably a little confusing. I really don't enjoy LOTR. However, the smoke stacks here in Port Kembla are nicknamed "Mordor" by our base staff because they're constantly spewing smoke and fire. 

The reason I titled this post "thoughts | Mordor" (the other option was "murder, murder!" Because that's the game people are playing right now, running around me and screaming) is because I just really enjoy how unique my base is. I obviously don't know if other bases are as weird, but I just feel like I'm among my own kind here. There's constant dance parties to a song called "interlude" by attack attack, which is hilarious, and we play Dutch blitz and laugh about stupid things like whether Oreos are qualified as cookies or biscuits in England. We are quickly becoming a weird little family that talks about cricket a lot and argues which sport is better to watch. (Obviously hockey but I'm the only canadian that weighs in) we make fun of each other's accents, stare into each other's eyes for 4 1/2 minutes (literally happened today), and talk about our lives back at home. I really enjoy life here, and I'm excited to see what God has in store for us. 

God bridges gaps. He makes the weirdest assortment of people feel like family. He gives us connections so we have something to talk about. God doesn't only want a relationship with us, but he wants us to have a relationship with others. The kingdom of God feels like a such a small place when we're all connected ;) 

These next few days, I challenge you to put as much time into your relationship with The Lord as you do into your relationship with others. God doesn't speak to you unless you ask him to and ready your heart to hear what he has to say. He wants to have a two way conversation with you, not just listen to you talk. 

Get to know Him. 

Blessings from the other side of the world, 

-Cailey 

Thoughts | Sunday morning

Hello! 

If you're reading this blog, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for the interest you've taken in my life. Thank you for your support as I embark on probably the most difficult 6 months of my life so far. Thank you for your prayer, it's kept us safe so far. Thank you for your encouraging words, they've gotten me through homesickness and a lot of doubt that I don't think I would be able to get through otherwise. And most of all, thank you for being a Jesus community for me, whether you realize it or not. 

It's Sunday morning here, and since I'm up early (typical), totally ready to go, and have nothing to do for the next hour and a half, I decided to write a little update. 

Week one has been difficult, but great. I struggled a lot with leaving my family behind, but they tried their best to make it easier for me (which included one of my brothers sending me 17 hilarious pictures while I was sitting in LAX so I wouldn't cry) and they definitely did. My mom snuck cards into my backpack (sneaky lady) which is like having a little bit of home and it's great. I've been mostly messaging them, as wifi isn't so great here, but I got to Facetime them once and that was awesome. I've been really enjoying living on base, it's really awesome living with many people from different places. Listening to how everyone talks and making fun of them is one of our favourite pastimes. For instance, Canadians say "SOrry" as opposed to Americans who say "SAWry" and it's really funny for everyone. Also the American "bahg" to the Canadian "behg" (supposed to be "bag" in case you can't tell). 

We've started our lectures, our connect/TAWG times, our 1-on-1 mentors (Fort Garry youth! We get mentors! I just really love mentors!), our work duties... Everything. It's great. This next week we'll be getting into our full time schedule for the next 11 weeks and it's great. Yesterday, we did an "amazing race" around Port Kembla, and while the idea was good, it was way too hot to be running around, and my non-competitive spirit didn't like the animosity between teams. Also I got burned even though I reapplied sunscreen twice! Pffft Australia. 

In the evening, I was playing a ukulele that belongs to someone who lives on base but is currently somewhere else in the world (typical YWAM) and this Aussie guy that's staying here for a few days on his way somewhere else went and got his guitar and we had a sweet jam session in the common room. It was so much fun being able to come together and praise God even though we're from different parts of the world. Also apparently my accent sounds cool when I sing. Who knew? 

This morning, both dts's are on the way to the local baptist church, where we'll outnumber the congregation. they asked us to do the service, and since this seems to happen to me everywhere, I'm playing on the worship team. I'm really excited for it though, don't get me wrong :) 

We've been asked to think about our "theme" for this season of our life. I posted on this a few days ago, but mine would have to be how God is a God of immeasurably more. God is so much bigger and greater then all we can dream of or imagine. We don't need to settle for anything less then God! How cool is that?! This season of my life, I'm going to choose to focus on trying to comprehend how great God is, and how much He loves me. 

I guess that's all for now. I'm so blessed to be able to be here in Australia, serving God by using the talents Jesus has given me. 

Thanks for everything! Keep us in your prayers, especially as we're really not used to the sun... And everyone is burnt. And slightly dehydrated :) 

To our God who is able to do abundantly more then all we can ask or imagine. To Him be the glory forever and ever! 

Amen. 

-Cailey